Topic       : WitzeGuide
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    Wenn jemand noch welche kennt, mir schicken.
    Keine gebrauchten Kondom-Witze bitte :-)

    Und was ist der kleinste Dom der Welt?
    Das Kon-dom. Da kann nur einer drin stehen.
    Und sogar die Glocken hängen draußen!

    Zwei Sechsjährige unterhalten sich.
    Sagt die eine:
    - "Ich hab' gestern ein Kondom auf der Veranda gefunden."
    Sagt die andere:
    - "Was ist eine Veranda?"

    Wie nennt man 5 Kondome, die Heavy Metal spielen?
    - Ein(e) Gummi-Band

    Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem Bungee-Jumper und einer
    Nutte?
    - Gibt keinen. Wenn das Gummi reißt, haben beide geschissen.

    Sorry, aber der Rest ist in Englisch. Tja, manche Witze kann man
    eben nicht übersetzten (oder man hat keine Lust dazu... :-)
    Für Übersetzungsvorschläge, bei denen der Witz nicht im Gummi
    hängenbleibt, bin ich jedoch immer dankbar...

    Do you know how to reuse a condom?
    - Turn it inside out and wash the fuck out of it.

    Why did the condom cross the road?
    - Because it was pissed off.


            LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS
             PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK

     1. Cover your stump before you hump.
     2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
     3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
     4. When in doubt, shroud your spout.
     5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
     6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.
     7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
     8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
     9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
    10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
    11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
    12. If you go into heat, package your meat.
    13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis.
    14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your
    trouser mouse.
    15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
    16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
    17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
    18. The right selection will protect your erection.
    19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.
    20. A crank with armor will never harm her.
    21. No glove, no love!


    TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY
    6969 Slippery Root Drive
    Drop Trouser, Sydney  2120.

    Dear Mr. Shlypdych,

    We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application
    to model and represent our product, TROJAN CONDOMS.
    Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing,
    our Board of Directors feel that your wearing of our product
    in advertisements does not portray a positive romantic image
    for our product. A loose, baggy and wrinkled condom is not
    considered romantic.
    We did admire your efforts to try and firm it up by using poly-
    grip, but even then it slipped off before we could get the
    photographs taken. We would like to note however that yours is
    the first we have seen that looked like a bicycle grip.
    We appreciate your interest and would like to thank you for your
    time. We will retain your application for possible future consi-
    deration. If by chance we decide there is a market for mini-
    condoms we will call you.
    We send greetings and sympathy for your lady.

    Sincerely,
    Dick Burly, President
    TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY,  INC.